Unless your child is an '80s villain, we can all agree that Brad, Todd, and Brandi with an 'i' are all atrocious ideas. This Two Dollar Radio Guide will help you name your child by calling attention to those names you should probably definitely avoid.

Inside, you’ll find musings on all the worst monikers—even yours—which means you now have a new gift idea for your family members. Who needs 23andMe when, rather than finding out if you’re 2.7 percent Welsh, you can get to the bottom of why your cousin Dale Henry is an 8-year-old girl with an overbite, and not a grizzled country and western singer.<br> For Example: <li>Fiona: Ahh, yes, you like Disney. Who doesn’t? But there are no actual princesses, and many Fionas grow up to become penpals with murderers and marry them in prison. You’re playing with fire. <li>Dylan: Can you still love your child if they grow up to send dick pics through LinkedIn? <li>Hailey: It’s hard to hear anyone say, “I’m not racist, but…” Especially when it’s a 14-year-old. Who wronged her? It was you.<br> In this ever-changing world, it’s hard to know how life is going to turn out for your new- or soon-to-be-born. You can’t keep them from getting their heart broken. And you won’t be able to shield every force of evil from them over the course of their whole life. You will, however, be able to avoid naming them Harley. You will need our help.